


Amy Hits Sonic With Her Hammer, As Usual

by AzureAceStarburst7



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games)
Genre: Abuse is bad, Black Comedy, Comedy, Gen, Thankfully the story has a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 14:44:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8212594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzureAceStarburst7/pseuds/AzureAceStarburst7
Summary: But thankfully, the story has a happy ending.





	

It was a pleasant day in Westopolis, and Sonic wondered where he'd run to today.

"Sonic!" Amy yelled, running over to Sonic and smacking him with her hammer.

"Amy!" Sonic said in fear. He didn't grab any rings today, and her hammer swings hurt more now than ever before.

"You MISSED our DATE a-GAIN!" Amy shouted, striking Sonic on each capitalized word.

"I was... busy!" The bruised Hedgehog struggled to say.

"Too busy for ME, Sonic?" Amy demanded, bringing her hammer up with both hands.

A streak of black dashed into her and sent her flying. "An Amy Android, huh? Now I've seen everything." Shadow said, folding his arms.

"Shadow... wait..." Sonic struggled to say.

"I'm not an android!" Amy said, getting back up. "I always treat him like that."

"She's right." Sonic agreed.

The hedgehog stepped back as if struck. "You... what?"

"What's the big deal?" Amy shrugged.

Shadow scowled. "So, this is why you run from her... You're too afraid to fight back. Then it's a good thing I'm not afraid of anything."

"Stop... I don't hate her..." Sonic said, trying to get back up.

"I do." Shadow said, charging a spindash.

He spindashed at Amy and she smacked him away with her hammer, and as he went flying back in a ball, he uncurled and fired an assault rifle at her. The pink Hedgehog seung her hammer to knock away the bullets, only to take a bullet to her right hammer-swinging arm. She was forced to drop her weapon and she ran, and Shadow landed on the side of a building, Triangle Jumping to chase after her.

"It's not as fun when you're the one being chased, is it?" Shadow yelled as the pink hedgehog ran and ran, unable to outrun the black hedgehog. "Imagine how Sonic must feel! Constantly having to keep running, so you don't catch him!"

He jumped and landed in front of her, levelling his gun at her.

"Wait!" Sonic yelled, but he could barely stand. "Don't kill her." He said weakly, falling down.

"Fine." Shadow spat. He grabbed the pink girl, and held her up by her dress. "But if you hurt Sonic again, I won't have to. From this moment on, Sonic is under official G.U.N. protection. If you hurt a single quill on his head, or touch one without his permission, you'll be taken to the ruins of Prison Island to be buried and drowned there. Love isn't about beating your partner into submission. It's about understanding and respect. Got it?"

"Got it." Amy said fearfully.

"Good." Shadow said, and kicked her away, over to some rings. She grabbed some and her arm healed up quickly, and she grabbed her hammer and ran.

Shadow walked over to the downed blue Hedgehog. "As for you..."

He helped him up, then gave him some rings to heal him. "There's a new movie coming out in the Speedmax Cinema tonight, and Rouge, Omega and I have front-row seats, but Rouge would rather steal gems tonight. I have an extra ticket now, so..."

"Why, Shadow, are you asking me on a date?" Sonic teased.

"Of course not!" Shadow huffed. "I just thought you'd like watching Chao in Space 3 more than the G.U.N. Commander, Blaze, or her stupid racoon friend would, and I... don't really have any other friends."

"Woah, really? I thought you and the Chaotix were best buds!" Sonic asked as they walked to the cinema.

"We've worked together once or twice, but best buds? No."

"You should meet some of my friends! I have, like, at least thirty."

"Maybe." Shadow decided.

And as the two friends broke out into a run to the cinema, Sonic started to sing the Chao In Space theme, and Shadow couldn't help but quietly join in.

**Author's Note:**

> Abuse is bad. If you hit your boyfriend, you're a piece of shit. If your girlfriend hits you, find a forum and ask for help. Nobody worth a fuck will think any less of you for asking for help on this one. And any stupid feminazi that's going to be all "but what about male on female abuse? That's what we've been trained to obsess about" in the comment section can suck my dick.


End file.
